I promise.

I promise an update later this week. We have been so busy this summer and done so many fun things, I am working on one big post hopefully by the end of this week. So stay tuned!

Cycle 2

So, here we go on round two of Femara. I am starting at a bit lower dose because my labs were out of wack and have to take the pills one a day for the next five days. I hate how they make me feel and I can' t wait to where I can stop this already (as in just get pregnant NOW). Hopefully my side effects wont be so bad with the lower dose. So, once again. Here we go again!

I Think I Need a Break From Everything!

I am so frustrated so this post is mostly a therapeutic rant and there may be TMI so beware if you continue. So, I recently found out that my 21 day progesterone was great, it was 30. My doctor called today and said actually the medication probably worked too well getting me to ovulate and at that high of a number (they just want you over 10) they were actually worried I was hyper stimulated (which can cause multiples, ovarian cysts, and etc...) so she said IF I got my period she would reorder another cycle  and at a little bit less of a dose. I was really hopeful that because of the high number it meant that maybe this month we actually may have gotten pregnant....but today, I started spotting which means AF is probably imenent. That makes me sooo mad! I know I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up with this being our FIRST medicated cycle but still!! I got pregnant SO easy with the boys that is time I am so absolutely frustrated. Not to mention it EVERYONE around me is pregnant or finding out they are pregnant or just had a baby. It literally makes me sick to look at Facebook, blogs, or even watch TV. I know that sounds harsh but it is so hard to watch people who barely try to get pregnant, or who aren't married, and anyone in general get pregnant so easy. I even had this grand plan of announcing my pregnancy (because you know I swore I would great pregnant right away lol) to Jeremy and my dad on Fathers Day coming up. Well, now thats out the window! I know this is just the emotional let down right now, and despite my inward frustration with our situation I am still happy for everyone around me but gosh....this sucks. So, as of right now, I will restart my meds and go for cycle number 2 on Sunday. Here we go.

Day 21 Progesterone-Cycle 1

So, last Sunday I had my 21 day progesterone to see if I ovulated this cycle, and especially since this was my first medicated cycle. I found out today that my level was 30! This is great for me because before I started meds, my last cycle I didn't ovulate at all, and the three cycles before that were right at or under 10 (over 10 ensures ovulation).

I am excited to know that at least the medication did what it was supposed to and that now, its in God's hands. If I get pregnant, thats great (which we will find out in about a week) but at least I know I can ovulate successfully with this medication. Really, the side effects weren't too bad, mostly I had hot flashes and was really tired but I can put up with that for five days each month if it means we have a better chance at being pregnant! I did have alot of lower abdominal discomfort and pressure during that time but I just take that as my body is working on getting me some good healthy eggs! So, even though I don't know yet if we got pregnant this month, I am positive at the fact the medication did what it was supposed too! So, here's to a bit of waiting.

Cycle 1

Today starts Day 1 of my Femara cycle (technically day 3 according to my doc) but today is the first day I took the medication to help with my ovulation. I hear the side effects aren't too bad and it is generally more tolerated than Clomid, so here goes nothing! I am supposed to take two pills daily for three more days after today and then later this month comes more labs to check on the progress of everything.

I am nervous to begin fertility medication because of so many things. First I am nervous that it may not work, and then what? I am not sure that if oral or injectable meds(the next step) doesn't work that I am willing to put my family thru IUI or IVF when we do have two perfect little boys already. Second thing I am nervous about is what if it works....and works really well! That sounds silly but I think I have gotten so used to not getting pregnant each month that when it does happen I think it will really not even seem real and then all of the reality of three children will set it in (which is ultimately what we do want). I know that sounds crazy but its true, once your pregnant no going back, lol. Also, what if it works too well and there is more than one babe in there when it happens?! Oh my! I know that if that is what happens that is what is ultimately meant to be and the chances aren't really huge (doc said about 5-15% have twins and higher order multiples are really under heard of on this med alone).

I have come to a  realization that what happens will happen and I just have to trust that things always work out for the best in the end. Jeremy has been so sweet this past year and I know it bothers him to see me stress about it so much especially knowing that he would like more children as well. But, ultimately he leaves how far we will go to get to that up to me. So heres, to cycle 1, and lets see what happens and how crazy this med makes me, haha!!! Fingers crossed!!

The Beginning...

So, today I went to my OBGYN's office to discuss my last three months of 21 day progesterone studies. It turns out I am not consistently ovulating at a good rate. So, what does that mean? They want to start me on a ovulation medication. As of my next cycle I will begin taking Femara, which is supposed to increase my chances at ovulation which in turn helps us get pregnant. But, taking ovulation meds= increase chance in having more than one baby. My doctor said my chances are the same as if I were on clomid and run anywhere from 5-15% chance of having multiples (as in twins, higher number multiples are extremely rare on oral meds). I am excited but really nervous to try this next month. I really hope it just happens for us because I think we are both getting tired of all this planning and thinking about things, especially since the first two came so easy. It just goes to show, don't take anything for granted. It is so hard to go on facebook and see all my friends announcing their pregnancies and this or that and has happy as I am for everyone, it really does hurt at times. This experience has given me a whole new outlook on things and a much higher respect for those dealing with infertility. So, here goes nothing!

Baby? Maybe? Update...

Well, don't get all excited here....there is no baby here! Hmmm where do I even begin? It has been soooo long since I blogged. I felt for a long time in blogging funk. Each time I blog I think I will get back to it more often and have all these dreams of keeping current with beautiful pictures of our life and stories but it just doesn't happen. We have been so busy and so much has been happening. 

Well, since last July, my last post.... we have been pretty busy. I am still working at the hospital in an outpatient clinic, which lately has been very ....interesting...to say the least, however I still love what I do. I am still in school part time working towards my Family Nurse Practitioner certificate and will be graduating next May...finally! The boys are doing great and are louder and more active then ever. Payton recently started ice skating basics so he can begin in hockey soon and they both will be playing tball this summer, so that will keep us busy. Jeremy has still been working real estate as well as flipping houses and buying investment properties. So thats it in a nutshell. Very condensed, I know.

I bet whoever reads this is wondering so whats up with the title regarding a baby. Well, we have been trying now for a year and three months to get pregnant again and with no such luck. I finally talked with my OBGYN and have been starting the fertility work up. Its so weird because I got pregnant with Payton and Parker so easily, and this time its been so hard. It sucks! I have been having labs drawn the last two months and am still getting more later this week and will be following up next week with my doctor in regards to my ovulation issues ( which I never had), and see what our next step is. It is so frustrating though. You see all these people get pregnant by sneezing lol and here we have to really focus on it. So weird, and I have a whole new respect for couples who are going through fertility issues. Hopefully mine is fixable so we will just see. 

Well, we just got a new MAC computer and I am totally new to the setup with this thing so once I figure it all out I will try to spruce things up on the old blog and maybe even add pictures! Wow, lol. Thats such a stretch. Well, until next time, my non existent readers :)