Day 21 Progesterone-Cycle 1

So, last Sunday I had my 21 day progesterone to see if I ovulated this cycle, and especially since this was my first medicated cycle. I found out today that my level was 30! This is great for me because before I started meds, my last cycle I didn't ovulate at all, and the three cycles before that were right at or under 10 (over 10 ensures ovulation).

I am excited to know that at least the medication did what it was supposed to and that now, its in God's hands. If I get pregnant, thats great (which we will find out in about a week) but at least I know I can ovulate successfully with this medication. Really, the side effects weren't too bad, mostly I had hot flashes and was really tired but I can put up with that for five days each month if it means we have a better chance at being pregnant! I did have alot of lower abdominal discomfort and pressure during that time but I just take that as my body is working on getting me some good healthy eggs! So, even though I don't know yet if we got pregnant this month, I am positive at the fact the medication did what it was supposed too! So, here's to a bit of waiting.

Cycle 1

Today starts Day 1 of my Femara cycle (technically day 3 according to my doc) but today is the first day I took the medication to help with my ovulation. I hear the side effects aren't too bad and it is generally more tolerated than Clomid, so here goes nothing! I am supposed to take two pills daily for three more days after today and then later this month comes more labs to check on the progress of everything.

I am nervous to begin fertility medication because of so many things. First I am nervous that it may not work, and then what? I am not sure that if oral or injectable meds(the next step) doesn't work that I am willing to put my family thru IUI or IVF when we do have two perfect little boys already. Second thing I am nervous about is what if it works....and works really well! That sounds silly but I think I have gotten so used to not getting pregnant each month that when it does happen I think it will really not even seem real and then all of the reality of three children will set it in (which is ultimately what we do want). I know that sounds crazy but its true, once your pregnant no going back, lol. Also, what if it works too well and there is more than one babe in there when it happens?! Oh my! I know that if that is what happens that is what is ultimately meant to be and the chances aren't really huge (doc said about 5-15% have twins and higher order multiples are really under heard of on this med alone).

I have come to a  realization that what happens will happen and I just have to trust that things always work out for the best in the end. Jeremy has been so sweet this past year and I know it bothers him to see me stress about it so much especially knowing that he would like more children as well. But, ultimately he leaves how far we will go to get to that up to me. So heres, to cycle 1, and lets see what happens and how crazy this med makes me, haha!!! Fingers crossed!!

The Beginning...

So, today I went to my OBGYN's office to discuss my last three months of 21 day progesterone studies. It turns out I am not consistently ovulating at a good rate. So, what does that mean? They want to start me on a ovulation medication. As of my next cycle I will begin taking Femara, which is supposed to increase my chances at ovulation which in turn helps us get pregnant. But, taking ovulation meds= increase chance in having more than one baby. My doctor said my chances are the same as if I were on clomid and run anywhere from 5-15% chance of having multiples (as in twins, higher number multiples are extremely rare on oral meds). I am excited but really nervous to try this next month. I really hope it just happens for us because I think we are both getting tired of all this planning and thinking about things, especially since the first two came so easy. It just goes to show, don't take anything for granted. It is so hard to go on facebook and see all my friends announcing their pregnancies and this or that and has happy as I am for everyone, it really does hurt at times. This experience has given me a whole new outlook on things and a much higher respect for those dealing with infertility. So, here goes nothing!

Baby? Maybe? Update...

Well, don't get all excited here....there is no baby here! Hmmm where do I even begin? It has been soooo long since I blogged. I felt for a long time in blogging funk. Each time I blog I think I will get back to it more often and have all these dreams of keeping current with beautiful pictures of our life and stories but it just doesn't happen. We have been so busy and so much has been happening. 

Well, since last July, my last post.... we have been pretty busy. I am still working at the hospital in an outpatient clinic, which lately has been very ....interesting...to say the least, however I still love what I do. I am still in school part time working towards my Family Nurse Practitioner certificate and will be graduating next May...finally! The boys are doing great and are louder and more active then ever. Payton recently started ice skating basics so he can begin in hockey soon and they both will be playing tball this summer, so that will keep us busy. Jeremy has still been working real estate as well as flipping houses and buying investment properties. So thats it in a nutshell. Very condensed, I know.

I bet whoever reads this is wondering so whats up with the title regarding a baby. Well, we have been trying now for a year and three months to get pregnant again and with no such luck. I finally talked with my OBGYN and have been starting the fertility work up. Its so weird because I got pregnant with Payton and Parker so easily, and this time its been so hard. It sucks! I have been having labs drawn the last two months and am still getting more later this week and will be following up next week with my doctor in regards to my ovulation issues ( which I never had), and see what our next step is. It is so frustrating though. You see all these people get pregnant by sneezing lol and here we have to really focus on it. So weird, and I have a whole new respect for couples who are going through fertility issues. Hopefully mine is fixable so we will just see. 

Well, we just got a new MAC computer and I am totally new to the setup with this thing so once I figure it all out I will try to spruce things up on the old blog and maybe even add pictures! Wow, lol. Thats such a stretch. Well, until next time, my non existent readers :) 

Grandma Julie

Well, I haven't posted in so long but things have been mighty busy! I have been working alot and Jeremy has been really busy with his work. Last Thursday however, my grandma Julie passed away. She deserves a post, recognition, and reflection. My grandma was 86 years old. She was a nurse, she was the reason I became a nurse. I spent many days and nights with her growing up. I have so many fond memories of her, from spending the night at her house eating ice cream and watching Steel Magnolias with my cousin Judy to listening to her stories about when she was young. I remember going with her on the bus around town, camping at our cabin, and just visiting with her. I will never forget her voice, her smile, or her laugh. She was always happy (unless you brought up physical therapy). Even though she was 86 and had a long good life, it isn't easy to accept she is gone. I wish I would have seen her more near the end. Even when her hearing was bad she would smile, nod, and say I love you. There are so many things I will miss about her. She truely was an amazing woman, who created a legacy in our family, with having seven children, nineteen grandchildren, and twenty-five great grandchildren. And today, she is up in heaven with her family who has passed before her and her husband who she has been seperated from for 27 years. Love you grandma!

Routine

Routine? Routine.....what is that! Since I started back to work during the week the boys have been going to daycare I would have thought I would have developed a better routine. But, although they have LOVED going to daycare in the morning it seems like in the evening they are bears!! They are so upset about everything and screaming and crying at the drop of a hat it isn't enjoyable at all! I am just hoping once some time passes a new normal will develop and a routine will emerge It has been so nice having my evenings and weekends off and am loving the availablity to do whatever on the weekends and not miss out but man, this change has been so tiring! Jeremy has been super busy since ihs move to the Graf Home Selling Team which is great but that also makes a routine harder to establish. I can't wait in like three weeks we are heading to Orlando FL for a week of relaxing and quality family time! I. CANT. WAIT. :)

Payton has been cracking me up lately, and I have began to realize he is not a little toddler anymore, he will be four this November and is constantly coming up with new things. He wants to understand how everything works, has some crazy comebacks, and is much more indepenedent. Parker, still fights me on potty training at home (is amazing at daycare....go figure) but is so smart and keeps up with Payton pretty darn well. I love love love my little family even when everything is so busy and shaky but once things settle I know it will get even better. I am so thankful to have had so much support from my family throughout all the changes recently it really makes me thankful for everyone in my life. Pictures to come soon I PROMISE. Although no one even reads this right? LOL. Until next time....

Change, Its What I Do

So, a few posts back I was so excited over my new venture as being the occupational health nurse for the John Deere Foundry. Well, that has unexpectandly ended. I went and trained for several days in the foundry and each day my asthma got worse and worse. It got so bad I thought I was going to have a full blown attack and my lungs just burned. When I mentioned it to my boss she called HR and next thing I knew I was turning in my badge because it was unsafe for me to be there anymore. For those that have never been in the the foundry it is really really dirty. The employees come in filthy and the health office is located right in the middle of the foundry. I really never thought I would have a problem since my asthma has been pretty controlled for quite awhile now. Well, I was lucky enough that Allen (who John Deere contracts thru) offered me another weekend job on the medical floor at the hospital. I also had the opportunity to possibly go back to my old job during the week at Mercy. But, when I really broke it down with Jeremy, if I work during the week and the boys go back to daycare we would be paying over a$1,000 for daycare on top of the $900 a month I already pay on student loans. By staying on weekends I save the amount I pay on daycare and use that savings for my student loan payments and the rest of my check for our montly bills (like we have been doing). I am so nervous about working on an inpatient unit again because I have been in an outpatient setting for so long and it wasn't my top choice for places. However, I do know it will be great experience as I finish up my nurse practitioner program over the next several semesters. Its just so hard because I really liked the job at John Deere and to have it gone so fast and placed into another position I never even thought of literally in a matter of twelve hours is so crazy. I have to keep telling myself I will always do whats best for my family and that this is a learning experience. But, its hard to not to be so sad about everything. I guess things do happen for a reason, I just can't wait to see what the reason for all this was! :)